How About a Date?
I am a 41-year old single woman. I am gainfully employed, do not have children, am very active in my church (Sunnyside in Portland, Oregon), and am an attractive, emotionally healthy, physically fit woman who has not been on a date in what feels like more than a decade. Why?
I came to my new faith about 10 years ago through a local evangelistic meeting (yes, direct mail does work) and I take my faith and beliefs seriously. But Christian men--and I have to say Adventist men, in particular--do not date, or so it seems. Nor do they seem to be emotionally attractive or healthy enough to attract me.
There have been several marriages among my friends in different churches lately; but I also have seen a lot of divorces (infidelity mostly) and remarriages (all have children) in the same group. Of the ones who did marry it always started with “group dates,” which developed over long periods of time into one-on-one dates.
I agree 100 percent with everything in this article and my girlfriends and I have talked about this for years, wondering what gives? Why don’t single Adventist men pursue dating? I will probably never remarry unless I consider marrying outside my faith, or worse, marrying a non-believer. Why is that?
I long to be married to someone who loves the Lord and is active in their church, but where are they? I have tried various online dating services but those rarely end up with a “match,” or even a date. The last Adventist I was matched to through e-Harmony seemed nice enough, but all we ever did was e-mail each other. He never said, “Hey let’s get coffee and meet,” I was very disappointed and stopped corresponding. This happened many times so I eventually cancelled my membership. I figure I would rather be single and a bit lonely and active in my church than wonder what’s up with single men. It’s a sad state.
Thank you again for addressing this topic. I would love to hear this talked about more in our churches, but they all seem to be more focused on the married couples with small children and “young adults,” than to those over 35 and single.
Just a few observations: As a person gets older, the preponderance of available women over available men increases.
An Adventist man who is interested in marriage is usually married in a short time. Thus he is not “in the market” very long.
My advice to single women: There are worse things than being single. For instance, there are lots of men looking for a woman to support him.
Women must always be cheerful and upbeat. Most men are not interested in adding to their problems.
Men, be nice to women. That woman you slammed the door on may be your boss next week.
Men, if you wait for a woman to “latch onto you” instead of you doing the chasing, then you richly deserve the hen-pecking you will get for the rest of your life.
Hubert F. Sturges
Christian men are not the only ones who have given up on dating. I am a Christian woman who has even giving up on marriage. I haven’t found a Christian man that could be the spiritual leader of my household. A Christian woman should marry a Christian man who has the same values, that will draw her closer to God, not football games, television, card games, and general social gaiety. Even when dating, a couple should talk about God in all they do together. They should pray together and for each other. I have only found three real Christian men and they are all married. Lucky wives!
Now that the world is filled to the brim with sin, only “the very elect” do not watch television, go to movies, or waste the Lord’s time in all kinds of ways when we should “be about our Father’s business” in study, ministry, and service. This is the reason I refuse to even consider marriage. And if I’m not going to marry, why should I waste the Lord’s time dating.
I’m not closed to the idea of marriage, of course. I have a fleece out, but I often have nightmares about it being answered. However, I would honor God’s purpose for my life with great hopes of a closer, purer relationship with Him as He has promised.
Debra A. Snipes
A History of Global Warming
Bruce Buttler makes a good case for global warming in his article, “Adventists and Global Warming
." But he doesn’t explain the cause of the previous climate changes he mentions.
What happened to the “great ice age?” Did the early settlers on what is now known as the American continent burn too much oil from the pools they found in Pennsylvania? What happened to the Pueblo civilizations of New Mexico and Arizona? Did they cause the climate change that forced them to move?
While bicycle riding and walking are good for our health, would the practice save the planet? Other suggestions in Buttler’s article would make minimal savings in energy.
Hans Diehl has pointed out the great savings in oil consumption that could be accomplished by switching to a vegetarian diet. Is teaching vegetarianism where we should put our energy?
Or should we seek God’s Spirit to hasten the three angels with their messages of eternal salvation so we can give this old planet a 1,000-year rest?
Robert A. Dexter
About Those Calculations
I read with great interest Sari Fordam’s column, “The World’s Most Expensive Chocolate”
(May 10, 2007). Then I went on the Internet (www.dallasfood.org
) and printed out the price list of Noka chocolates. Sure enough, the price of four pieces of Vintages Collection in a stainless steel box was $2,080 per pound.
Fordham’s article said, “The company then sold the chocolate at a 1,000 percent mark up.” If one started at an expensive $20 a pound for imported chocolate, and marked it up 1,000 percent, it would come to a markup of 10 times or $200 a pound. Did she not mean a 10,000 percent markup?
Consistent About Consistency
I strongly endorse Bill Knott’s editorial, “Consistency Anyone?”
(June 14, 2007). Although I agree with those who say that religious experience has an emotional aspect that is important and has been given short shrift in Adventist worship, it is equally problematic to place so much emphasis on the emotional as to ignore the fact that our religious experience has propositional content as well. What we believe says a lot about the kind of God we believe in. I fear that the inconsistency such as Knott cited betrays a thoughtless approach to our religious life that affects more than our music. It affects how we apply our religion to our entire lives.
Thank you for a timely and thoughtful piece.
Austin Archer, Professor of Psychology and Education
Walla Walla College, Washington
Thank you, Editor Knott, for the courage, strength, and wisdom you addressed in a very important issue. Consistency is important, but biblical accuracy is what we cherish about our beliefs and why we choose to be Seventh-day Adventists. That is a vital value that distinguishes us from other religious groups. May we all keep that a reality.
Thank you for speaking up for those of us who do not have the influence or platform to keep error from taking a place in our churches or worship. We appreciate you righting a “creeping compromise” and accepting your committed responsibility to our Lord and His people.
Alcohol and All
People ask me why, as a French man, I do not drink. Simple: It is the grape juice that is good for us, not the alcohol. In France some Adventists drink, moderately, even people in church positions. The culture is such that we close our eyes to the real issue as one famous French comedian had it: “Alcohol kills slowly; we don’t mind, we have time.”
All we have to do is take a look at statistics and find out how many people are killed each year due to alcohol-related accidents. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, the number is a staggering 20,687 fatalities related to alcohol in 2006. We complain about the war in Iraq, but this one is a real war. The last incident involving Paris Hilton shows trouble at all levels of society. Even our president, George W. Bush, had to deal with alcohol-related problems.
I am a concerned father who prays daily that my son, Alex, will not allow spirits of any kind to take control of his life. He has friends with parents that do not think much about drinking. Alcohol never solved a problem, Jesus does.
Today we do not hear sermons about drinking. I have seen some Adventist children go to the path of alcoholism even though their parents never had a drop to drink. My prayer is the church will address this issue with love and concern for our young people. The grace of God teaches us to say “no” to drinking.
Thank you for writing this inviting and thought-provoking article.
Lookout Mountain, Georgia
Thank you for the Review. The former editor was one of my heroes, but you and your team do an incredible job. The articles are timely, spiritual, challenging, and evocative.
The Review has been especially important to me during the last few months as my daughter was hit by a car and killed September 25. I have not been able to attend church (I do listen on the radio). My Bible and the Review are my Sabbath companions.