One Day . . . (for People Who Aren’t Married) [Main Story]
told that story at a youth rally recently, and a young bloke came up afterward and said, “It’s all right for you. You get it all at home. But for those of us who are single, it’s much more difficult."
Great point. It’s tough being single. (I remember.) I asked him to run through my list of reasons and see which ones could apply to a single person who wants an awesome relationship one day. Here’s what we concluded:
1. You don’t have it all at home yet, but you want to invest toward that future now.
2. You don’t want to bring sexual memories into your marriage. You won’t want to train yourself to split sex from love, because you want them together one day.
3. You don’t want to take your spirit to bed with some stranger. If the relationship ends (and most people have a few fairly serious relationships before they marry), then the emotional hurt can be even deeper if the relationship has been sexual. That can leave behind baggage that no airline can lose.
4. When you marry, would you like your spouse’s first sexual experience to be with you? I find most people would (though many people have almost given up hope of that).
I like the Facebook group called “I’m Saving Myself For Wild, Passionate, Awkward Honeymoon Sex.” It has about 46,000 members. Even if some of them don’t quite live up to their ideals, that’s still a lot of people out there with high values. If you’d like that from your husband or wife one day, why not wait yourself? Fair’s fair.
5. Imagination is a tough one, because we’re all bombarded with sexually based marketing stimuli. But whether you’re married or not, it’s better to develop focus and mental discipline as soon as possible. It’s just a constant decision.
6. If you want to have children one day, what will you tell them when they’re teens? Will you be able to tell them from experience how to handle the temptations of those years?
7. Do you want to risk making a person half like you and half like someone you do not love?
8. Variety? One day . . .
9. Spirituality . . .
If you suffer guilt from falling short, there’s this thing called the gospel (1 John 1:9)!
And another major reason applies to single people.
10. Thinking straight.
Why do you date a person before marrying them? To see whether you want to do the rest of your life with them: Who are they when no one is looking? What is their spiritual and emotional life? How do they treat money, their mom, etc.?
If you start having sex with them, do you think you’ll keep monitoring their character? No. Maybe that’s one reason so many people make choices that are wrong for them.